Off the Cuff with Jacqueline Ross | July 2023
By Jacqueline Ross
From being on cloud nine last month, to hitting rock bottom this month…Welcome to this season of my life! My hope is for this column to help encourage anyone that is fighting an internal battle that they don’t speak about. You’re not alone.
Lately, I’ve been holding on by a thread; emotionally, mentally, and physically. Dealing with this lingering knee problem of mine has been such an arduous journey; at times I often wonder how much more I can take. Today, I was supposed to be in surgery to receive a Partial Knee Replacement. I had been looking forward to this since May! All of my scans were done and my knee implant had been created. I had been mentally preparing myself over the last two months for this life-changing event. I was excited and of course a bit nervous. Just when it seemed things were on the upswing, I received yet another blow.
Last week, I received a call that let me know my surgery had been denied. I immediately went into the victim mindset (not a good place to be): “What did I do to deserve this?!” Nothing, Jacqueline. Sometimes there are no answers to why things happen the way they do. It’s life. It’s the ebb and flow of the tide. Feel the feels, accept what is, make the necessary adjustments, and look for the silver lining.
Mother Teresa once said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel this way, especially recently. I know I’m not the only one going through something. We all have a story, I just choose to invite you into my dungeon and have a seat with me, my flaws, and imperfections. I’ve incurred a lot of pain and trauma in my life; no more than anybody else. I do a lot of inner work on myself so I can be a positive person, but not many people realize the mental battles I fight on the daily. Sometimes it can get pretty dark for me upstairs in my membrane.
I’ve learned a lot through the suffering that I’ve endured in my life. It can shape us positively or negatively. As to which way, well that depends on our choices in regards to what we do about what happens to us. The possibilities to come can be bigger than our experiences that have been. The question that arises is, Will we be a prisoner of our past or a pioneer of our future?
“So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit,“